A Thing About Death....

A few days ago, a friend of mine said that she didn't mind if she died anytime soon. It worries me that she even thinks about it. She also explained that she was tired of doing something that wasn't making her happy and then explained that she doesn't want to die, but she's not scared of death either. After a few long hours of talking, I understood why she said that, and I realized how much a death of someone effects everything.



Even just talking about her dying scared me. I imagined so many possibilities of what could happen after. After someone dies, everything changes at the same time nothing does. Nothing changes because everyone goes on with their life the day after the funeral. Goes back to doing their jobs or chores. Goes back to school and gain more knowledge. But everything changes because a person you knew, a person you care about, is gone. You can never have conversations with them. You can never just sit around with them and enjoy the silence. You can never argue with them. You can never make new memories with them to look back at in a few years. You only have the memories that you already have. 

From the point of view of someone who has thought about being dead... at the time, all I thought about was if I died, nothing would change and it was the only thing I saw that could make me happy, so why don't I just end it. I would be happy and everything wouldn't change. Thinking about it now, I was being foolish. How could I have been happy if I was dead? The answer is I wouldn't be able to. Being dead is eternal. Its forever. YOU STOP EVERYTHING FOR YOURSELF! You wouldn't be happy because you would be nothing.

(and then I realize I've been writing essays and who has the time to read them.... haha) 

As for my friend, in the end I told her that I won't say anything because I don't know what to say and even if I did it would probably hurt her feelings or start an argument between us. I understood what she was saying and I told her that I'm here for when she wants to talk about anything, because in the end, that's the only thing that people who have problems want, someone to listen, understand and be there for them. 

To anyone that's reading this and is depressed or going through some issues that makes you want to end it all, it might not be visible, but a brighter future is possible for you and you can make a difference, you just can't end it. As over-said as this is... It gets better. Stay strong and keep on going.