Let's Have a Chat: Yesterday was the longest day I've had in years
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| my cats, Duchess & Belle / the mummy and baby duo Hello lovies! Welcome back to my blog. |
I didn't really think of any particular topic to write about and decide well I'll just write anyway. For the past couple of weeks I haven't been feeling good. My anxiety levels were slowly rising day-by-day, depression was creeping back up and I just knew that I will have a breakdown one of these days. That day, was yesterday.
It started off as a good day. Woke up early, prepped myself up, did my makeup pretty good and did what I had to do. Went to 2 different places that were an hour long drive to each destination and by 1 pm was back in the city picking up my younger siblings and then went grocery shopping and by 3 pm, I was back home done with my day. At least that's what I thought anyway.
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| So proud of this neutral makeup look. snapchat: amira.saadiah
Like I said, was a really normal day but I didn't really get my head to think properly. I was doing things and feeling good but at the same time I felt like my brain and body weren't cooperating and my actions, feelings and brain weren't connecting. I know this all sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but it's true and I've been going through with this unexplainable 'thing' for the past 5 years now. (maybe even more I don't think I'll ever be 100% sure).
So, I ended up panicking for no reason and could not stay still. For the first time in two years. Suddenly I was 15 again and itching for something that would calm my brain down and help me feel less jittery. Thank God I didn't find anything in that short search of blades Alhamdulillah, but I was still very shaky and could not stop the tears from falling.
I got up and painted, with my fingers cause I needed my hands to be busy doing something. That helped a little bit but not as much as I had hoped it would. Then I also tried doing makeup cause I found out that it's kind of calming and settling. That helped too but again, not much. I ended up sleeping after that. (which was only 8 pm)
by Amira Saadiah
Follow me on instagram: fdsamira
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I knew very well that I had friends that I could have called and talked to, but I knew that the only thing that would really actually help me was a hug and they couldn't do that over the phone so I didn't even bother. I only told my friend, Miss Ceyda Dilek aka one of the greatest people I know, today about what happened.
But coincidentally, Kandee Johnson uploaded a video on her channel that was her telling us that it will be fine and that whatever is happening right now will end and what I'm feeling will end. Everything is going to be okay, and to just push through the hard times to get to the good time. That is life. Thanks +Kandee Johnson, for making that impromptu video. It helped me so much, I cried and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Especially yesterday. I love watching her videos. It's always so upbeat and positive and just, She's amazing and such a wonderful person. I love her, so watch her videos!!
I don't really know what the point of this post is, I just felt like writing something now that my head is a tiny bit clearer than it was. I guess, no one will ever get to properly get away from the bad but that should never stop you from fighting and keep doing your best everyday. Just remember that no one is perfect and that life sucks sometimes but that's okay! It's the only life you've got, go through the bad and appreciate the good even more. Alright goodnight lovies and keep on doing you!
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